Dear Dad,

I remember that day at the fair when I was only five-years-old. I lost you and panicked and ran to catch up and grab your hand. Imagine my fright to realize I had chosen the wrong hand! I knew how your hand felt and knew I had erred. Soon I found you and the comfort of your hand holding mine has stayed with me all my life. How I wish I could hold your hand now.

It is hard to be so far away and think of you lying in a hospital bed with a broken leg, a new mechanical hip joint, and doctors probing and testing you for cancer. I am afraid for you, afraid for us. We need you. I need you. I need to feel your hand and know all is well. The universe seems to jump a gear and run haywire sometimes. I feel now just the way I felt that day at the fair when the wrong hand's face leaned over to me and said, "I bet you think I'm your daddy, don't you, little girl?"

I'll be coming up soon to take care of you and Mama for a few weeks. It will be so good to sit near you and talk to you. It will be good to touch your hands and know it is you and you are getting stronger and soon will be working again, carrying in firewood and building a fire, pouring a cup of coffee, wielding a pen over a crossword puzzle, lacing your work boots, shoveling snow, planting your garden, greeting a friend with a handshake, tousling a grandchild's hair.

I see that day. I know it will come soon and I will be comforted even though my own hands should be the ones doing the comforting this time. I think I will always need you, Daddy.

Love you,
Elece

Winds of Change

Winds of Change

 By Elece Hollis

Sun slants into my room, making light places on the floor,

 on the furniture, but no warm places.

It is a winter sun,

 nearly an hour late,

likely to be gone by early afternoon.

The sky is clear, a slate gray, the trees bare and dark

 against it. The hummingbirds are gone,

 moved south to places where flowers still bloom.

Crows caw at the leaden sky,

arguing among themselves.

There is no garden left for them to plunder.

The first frost has blackened it,

 the cold winds of October have dried it. We have pulled up the tomato stakes and mowed.

I am glad to live in a place

 with a definite change of seasons! It is a great joy

 to see the first signs of spring poking

 green spears from the earth.

Then after a long summer of simmering heat

 and vibrant green growing,

it comes as a relief to feel cooler shorter days of autumn

 with brown leaves falling.

 It refreshes and heals to have a winter of cold and snow following. Father God, I do need change.

 Help me to explore and enjoy all the seasons of my life.

 Teach me to accept and learn to love change in all the activities, callings and

the structures of my days.

Let There Still Be Roses

 Dear Jesus,

 I read in Isaiah 55 these words:

 "So you will go out with joy, 

and be led forth in peace. 

The mountains and the hills will burst into singing before you 

and all the trees of the fields will clap their hands.

Large cypress trees will grow where thornbushes were.

 Myrtle trees will grow where weeds were.

 These things will be a reminder of the Lord's promise,

and this reminder will never be destroyed."

 I love roses on their thorny bushes. 

I love roses and can't think that heaven on earth could lack them.

 Oh, Jesus.......

Oh, please, Lord say there will still be roses!

Letter to My Heart

Dear Heart,

Hasn't it been a summer to remember? Through personal counseling you have come to understand yourself better and learned secrets to growing closer to family members while maintaining boundaries. Through marriage counseling, you and Ron have grown closer as you learned to overcome communication roadblocks. Through nature you have grown closer to God and learned to accept and appreciate who you are.

You have learned some patience through trials. You have gained some wisdom through reading the Bible. You have studied and educated yourself on some subjects that can make you a happier, fulfilled person. The use of a camera has opened up a new adventure, a new way of looking at things, a new appreciation of the world around you.

Watching your granddaughter, Madison, be born and welcomed into the world by a her family worked something golden into your spirit, like a glimpse of some treasure too beautiful to describe, one that makes your tongue go still and your heart ponder.

The trip with friends and family to Kentucky made you realize God's unquenchable love for you and that He longs to have you walk closer and serve together with Him to reach the coming generations with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Giving up your grip of motherhood on your daughter as she left the States was a trial, a pain-filled trial, but one that can build a stronger reliance on your husband and a stronger faith in God.

Yes, it has been a summer to remember, a summer of growth and change, a summer of God working in you to carry out His plans for you. Remember that.

Love you,
Elece

His Mercy

Dear God,

Here we are seeking Your face; asking for Your Answer. Give us mercy. It is the one thing we know to ask for. Here we are and we admit that we don't know the answer for this situation and so we pray for mercy.

Grandma Helen signed a "living will," but did she know then the value of her life today? Everyone who knows and loves her considers her precious and valuable even in her condition. We vacillate. We want her to stay with us. We don't want to lose her, but we think it would be better for her to die today and come home to You, Lord. It seems the best for her not to suffer, for her not to be consigned to a bed the rest of her days, unable to open her eyes, unable to speak, unable to eat.

But we are only human and we make such decisions while only able to see one side of eternity and that not clearly. We make such calls in fear of the fate of all men; in fear of the human condition that You wrote to us about in the Bible. That fear of having to be tended in our old age. Fear that others will come to feed us and dress us and take us where we don't know and where we don't want to go--a second infanthood.

Does going there or being there change the perspective enough to contradict it? Does Grandma now want to stay alive?

We are fools, Lord. We don't know. We can't judge.

Your mercy endures forever. It is best that You decide these things, that You allow our emotional convulsions to hold no sway in this situation.

We don't know what to ask for her, God. So, we ask for mercy; not for mercy as we define it, but for mercy as You, Lord, know it.

Amen and Amen

Love you,
Elece


Note to readers: Grandma Helen died peacefully in a hospice in Rogers, Arkansas one month after her collapse as a result of a brain aneurysm. She died with her family around her and just after Joseph had visited with her. God knows best. Bless His holy name.


Isaiah 57:1-2 says: Those who are right with God may die, but no one pays attention. Good people are taken away, but no one understands. Those who do right are being taken away from evil and are given peace. Those who live as God wants find rest in death.

Dear Mama,

Today is your birthday. I wish I could come by and visit, but there are so many miles between us. I sent you flowers and a copy of my book along with family pictures of your grandchildren and greatgrands, the farm, and our pets. You seem to enjoy seeing our life.

This summer is slowly creeping toward fall. Before we know it the leaves will be cascading down and the days will be shorter and the nights cooler. What have I accomplished this summer that I could brag to you about?

Last night I finished sewing curtains for my back room and I remembered how I struggled to learn to sew.  You taught me the basics and then through trial and many errors I learned. I have sewn curtains, clothing, tablecloths, even cloth dolls with yarn braids. Still, I am not a master of the threads and cloths like you are.

I canned tomatoes and applesauce and put up food for winter in my pantry and my freezer. How many rows of jars lined the shelves of your pantry when I was a child! There were plums and peaches, apples, pears, beans, corn, tomatoes, jellies, meats, and soups. How industrious you have been. I want to be like you.

I entertained this summer-- cooked and served and even carried meals for friends, family and strangers. I stirred up cakes and cobblers and I fried chicken and made gravy. All these skills I gained from you who gave me my first cookbook and first apron.You taught me by example how to be hospitable. Many people ate at my table this summer as I remember folks praying, eating, and socializing around yours.

I read books this summer. The love of books is another proof of your touch in my life. I listened to music, watched birds, arranged wildflowers in vases and took photographs of them. You taught me to love reading, music, the glories of God's creation, laughter and work. You taught me my need for family, friends, and faith. You taught me to face realities in life and to be brave.

What a great mother you have been to me! Happy Birthday!

Love You, Elece

Pianos and Ponies

Dear Jesus,

You certainly know how to make children happy.  A day or two ago, Brenna came riding up to the back porch  on her "borrowed" horse White-Tee. I took this picture of her docile steed and her joyful face. It reminded me of another little girl and an old piano.

You recall the piano, I'm sure. It was an old upright that had been in a little clapboard country church for decades. Its varnish was cracked and its keys were yellowed, but the tone and tune even after being moved in the back of a pickup truck were fine.

Rachel had wanted a piano since she could talk. She ached for one of her own. She asked us again and again, but at that time we really couldn't afford to consider it. When your daughter wants something so badly it is painful to say no.  We told her that there was no way we could buy her dream for her, at least for a few years. We told her to pray and tell you  about her wish. That night she prayed for you to send her a piano.

She must have had great faith because the next afternoon the phone rang. It was Rachel's Grandma. Her church was purchasing a new piano and had to move the old one. She wondered if Rachel still wanted one. If we would come pick it up within a week, she could have it. We did, of course, and that old piano was a thrill to Rachel. She learned to play on it. When she was teenager she was able to buy a better instrument. But that first one was her own personal miracle and her faith and talents grew.

Brenna wanted a horse to ride. This beautiful and calm horse is her personal miracle. She keeps him and rides and trains him, but for now he belongs to a neighbor. The neighbor even provided a saddle and tack and a request that she keep the horse in our pasture and ride him often.

Jesus, you are good to bless us with such things. You show us that you know our needs and our hearts' desires and that you care, even about dreams like pianos and ponies.

Love you,
Elece